So I Married a Superhero

I have a secret. I'm married to Spiderman. Most people know him as Peter Parker (aka Ken Wilson). They see a brilliant geek. Sometimes they see a bit of a pompous know-it-all control freak. To the innocent bystander at a party he might be the aloof hairy guy lurking in the shadows but for the select few, privileged enough to truly know him, we recognize him as Spiderman.

Okay, to be fair, I'm not really a connoisseur of comic book superheroes. I suppose I could have easily told you that my husband was "Wolverine" or "The Incredible Hulk" but recently Neal has become quite obsessed with Spiderman so, knowing him a bit better than other superheroes, I've decided to cast him as my husband's alter-ego.

Oh, I've known since day 1 that he was a superhero. The first time we met, I was the perfect damsel in distress. Needing rescuing from a set of impossible "put-it-together-yourself Staples desk" directions, he appeared out of nowhere...well sort of...Years later my roommate Amy would disclose that she informed him of my desperate state. Nevertheless, he showed up. He put that desk together in no time flat and I thought he was HOT. So hot in fact that I even wondered if he was out of my league.

Part of the attraction of course was his personality. I found him refreshing. Ken is brutally honest and he doesn't play "guess who I am". He wears that Spiderman costume proudly. In our society, wearing a Spiderman costume is the equivalent to walking around naked. You just aren't supposed to "show yourself" that openly to strangers. So, people don't know where to look or think when they first meet him. Not me. All I could see was that big heart of his - I could say something dirty here too, but I digress… - and when you usually have to sift through stuff to find the good in people, I was relieved to be in the company of truth.

My husband has an extremely keen sense of right and wrong. He has taken a personal oath to always make the right choices-even when the alternative choice is more popular. He is fixated on being right - yes, annoyingly so - and before you write him off as arrogant, you should know that he usually IS right. Damn, I hate to admit that... But the truth is, in addition to knowing the answers to intellectual questions, he knows the right answers to the really difficult "life" questions.

I've often said that Ken is the “most Christian non-Christian" of anybody I know. It doesn't matter who you are, if you are in need, my Spidey is there. People (Ken included) have asked me the question: "how can you live with a person like him?" and it is a difficult one to answer. Ken is a tough guy to live with but not for the reasons you're thinking. You see, he actually is a better human being than I am. I'd like to fancy myself a "good" person...but when the cards are on the table, I'm gonna want to make the easy choice, which isn't necessarily the right one. Take for instance the time he won $4000 in a 50/50 draw. When he told me that he'd won, I immediately started imagining how we could play with the extra cash...and then he told me that he GAVE the money right back to the charity. Yeah...how do you live with that?!

The question people should be asking is: "How does it feel to be adored by Spiderman?" It feels great. I have won the proverbial jackpot when it comes to husbands. Routinely, my man professes his love for me...verbally, non-verbally, and in ways that would be "too much information". I get flowers on a weekly basis, "just because" and love poetry. Amazing love poetry (Spidey is a GIFTED rhymer, did you know that?). He recognizes that he's got a good thing (me) and he appreciates it. It ISN'T easy to be married to a superhero. All superheroes have flaws (that's what makes them good characters) and mine is no exception, but who doesn't have flaws?

This morning at Gymboree, Neal's teacher asked me if my husband was the "Dad that dressed up like Spiderman with his son". I admitted that he was. "I LOVE that Dad. He is my favourite Dad of all the classes I’ve ever taught," she gushed. "I love watching him play with Neal. He gets it. He is interactive and FUN and I love watching other parents WATCH him, they are in awe !!”

"I know," I said, beaming with pride, "That's my husband alright." I could tell she was jealous. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be married to Spidey?