I'm Not a Plumber!

I'm an open minded person... I'll admit that it might not have been the best way to deliver a message, but I don't think I'm completely at fault...And yet here I am, banished to the dog house. So for today's blog, I'll give you the facts and you decide if I'm really guilty.

"Mommy! Let's go CAR RIDING!" Neal pounced on me the second I opened the door. Dripping with sweat after just finishing up the daily run, I greeted him with a hug. "Mommy, stink!" He announced.

"That's right, Buddy. I stink and I need a shower. I'll be quick and then we can go CAR RIDING!"

I washed my face in the sink and just as I was about to hop in the shower, I thought I heard the curious sound of water trickling. Glancing at the tap and seeing no signs of running water, I was about to chalk it up to my imagination. And then I saw the tell tale sign of water pooled on the floor under the vanity. Water covered the base of the shelf. "Jeez, we've had enough water issues in this stinkin' bathroom to sink a ship" I cursed to myself. I don't know much about plumbing, but this didn't look super serious, so I carried on with my shower and made a mental note to text Ken about it later on. Neal was waiting for me.

Neal was bubbling over with excitement when I announced today's errands to him. First, we were going to get a hot chocolate at Starbucks and then we were going to go CAR CART riding at the Co-Op (picture a race car grocery cart-it makes ALL the difference). I strapped him into his car seat and before putting the key in the ignition, sent off a text to Ken. It read:

"Are you ready for today's daily dose of 'WTF now' news?"

He answered right away. "Sure, give me the news. I'm in a meeting, but I'll call in thirty"

Neal was getting impatient in the back and he was starting to complain. So, we drove to Starbucks and I texted back once we were parked.

"We have a leak in the basement sink."

A similar incident had happened to our upstairs sink about a year ago and I remember that the first question Ken asked was: "What kind of leak is it?" I had looked at the piping and told him that water was "dripping out of the thing into the thing." This description did not go over well.

So, I was prepared this time. Before he had a chance to ask the question, I was conjuring up a proper description of the downstairs piping problem.

"Head and neck broken."

Neal and I went inside to order. As Neal was politely and oh so sweetly practicing his "May I have a hot cocklate[sic]" sentence to say to the barista, the phone rang. It was Ken but we were at the front of the line and I decided that it would be easier to call him back after our order was placed. Ken was being insistent though. The phone kept ringing. I picked it up. Our conversation went as follows:

Me: HI Hon.

Ken: (Nervous voice) WHERE ARE YOU?

ME: Starbucks.

(The whip cream that I forgot to tell them to hold is overflowing Neal's sippy cup, and he thinks this is great)

Ken: STARUCKS??? (Sounding a little incredulous). WHAT IS GOING ON?????

Me: (grabbing a dozen napkins and attempting to clean up the whip cream mess) I just told you. We're at Starbucks.

Ken: (sputtering) THE SINK??? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Me: I told you! It's got a leak. The pipe at the top that looks like the head is no longer connected to its neck piece.

Ken: That's not the sink! That's the Pee-trap!

Note: (I think Pee trap is a funny word).

Ken: I JUST SPRINTED OUT OF MY MEETING TO MY OFFICE BECAUSE I PICTURED WATER GUSHING OUT OF A PIPE. I PICTURED THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF DAMAGE. I PICTURED SOMEBODY WITH A BROKEN HEAD AND NECK!

Me; hee, hee, he. That's Hilarious, Pooke!

He didn't seem to think so.

Normally, he has a pretty good sense of humour. I guess this, coupled with the earlier facebooking incident (I shamelessly broke into his account and announced to the world that he had hemorrhoids), might have been a bit much.

I suppose I'll have to bake a batch of my famous chocolate chip cookies this afternoon. That'll do the trick. I hope.

But seriously...you knew what I was talking about, right?